Stress has so many negative short and possibly long-term effects
(Adrenaline and cortisol production, disruption in the gut, headache,
sleep disturbance, blood pressure). It is worth a small struggle now
to transition your natural responses to problems away from emotions
to objective thinking and problem-solving. Stress can push you into or
keep you in a rut and definitely makes your time in a rut more miserable.
None of us make it through all of our days without experiencing various
situations that we perceive as stressful. Some people face much more than
others and handle it better than those with few negative circumstances to
handle.
Some people find sport in putting themselves in what many would consider
super stressful situations and it brings them joy and makes them feel alive
(they call them challenges). Others encounter a situation that should fall into
the category of normal daily challenge and they fall apart.
This makes it obvious that the effects of stress have more to do with the person
experiencing the situation, their perception of it and a decision of how to view it.
If the response requires a decision, then it means it is controllable.
We can use a statement like this; if not all owners of cars that break down have
anxiety attacks, then we can deduce that when a car breaks down, it does not
cause the owner of it to have an anxiety attack. It is clearly something else that is
causing it.
When you encounter something that stimulates stress during your day, think
about other times in your life when you were able to endure something that
would have been much more stress provoking than what you are encountering
today.
How Do I Deal With Stress?
I am not an expert but can almost guarantee that flipping out either internally or
externally, has never solved any problems. Getting riled up inside and allowing
stress to take you over only changes your body chemistry and makes it more
difficult to solve problems, unless you are fighting off an attacker. That is when
you might actually want the stress response.
If you find out that your car repairs will be twice as much as expected, that is not
what the fight or flight mechanism was made for. The lady behind the counter is
not an attacker. You are not in eminent physical danger which is the only time you
want large amounts of adrenaline and cortisol to suddenly began surging through
your body. Humans were given the power to reason for all of the other problems.
Your response to everything in your life tracks a path through your brain if you
continue to use the same paths over and over, just like One gets into a rut, your
paths will become more ingrained and eventually very automatic and more difficult
to divert away from.
Now that would be great if your ingrained response was “OK, my car repair cost more
money than I expected, now I need to come up with X amount of money. I will write
a list of things I can sell or do to gather the additional money so I will not feel the
impact.“ Now that may actually help the situation.
Sometimes you’ll notice that the situation you are in is very similar to previous
circumstances you’ve experienced. At one time you may have been able to handle
a similar situation or one that may have been much more stressful but today you’re
feeling one way or another so a very minor problem could seem bigger than usual.
If we look back on our lives, most of us can think of a time when we over exaggerated
what kind of stress we should be feeling. Common over exaggerations might be a
dental or medical procedure. We spend weeks sweating our appointment, then when
it is done we realize, the weeks we spent stressing over it were much more painful than
the procedure.
The reason we stress over something in the future is often due to the unknown, which
can be stressful for many of us. Perhaps you can think of some unknowns in your past
that turned out great. There are always other options to explore besides just letting
stress have it’s way with you.
When these moments try to come, this is a good way to ‘regulate’ the perception if you
will. Check your responses against a previous response and understand the various
levels of stress you can handle under certain circumstances or what types of pressure
tips you over the edge when it comes to dealing with difficult problems.
For example one may be less able to easily handle the news of a more than
expected car repair cost the day after getting fired and more able to handle it the
day they get a raise.
Learn what weakens your calm, problem-solving abilities for you and get a big
picture so you can more easily get in front of them and work to transform your
responses. At the moment that you feel a negative emotional response to a situation
coming on, tell your self to wait. Wait. And then ask your self “what if I chose to feel
happy in response to this and smile?”
It may feel silly to think about being happy and smiling in response to your car
breaking down or worse but if you ask yourself this question, it will give your mind
permission to contemplate more than the negative or easy reaction that is trying to
come automatically. It introduces the idea that there are response options and
reminds you that you are the only one with access to the control panel for these options.
Have you ever met anyone who seems to make a joke whenever anything goes wrong?
This is most likely the mechanism they have establish for themselves. Instead of
allowing stress to take over in response to problems they find humor and now it is
their natural response. Humor is so much more pleasant and healthy than stress!
The way we see ourselves is important to positive and productive behavior. We
identify ourselves partly as the behaviors we often put forth. Imagine your self
(every day) as the person who is calm, cool and collected, the one who can turn
lemons into lemonade, can weather any storm.
Begin to identify yourself as such as you work to fulfill that reality, situation by
situation. Remember that perfection and speed are not the goal here. It is not
how self improvement or getting out of a rut works. Be patient. The goal is to take
small actions in a positive direction as consistently as possible. There’s no finish
line to improving yourself (and achieving a RFL).
You may also be interested in these posts about Taking Back Your Power, Letting Go to Make Room For Joy, Clutter Problems and Becoming Productive Again