The definition of a rut in the dictionary states first, that it is a long,
deep track made by repeated passage of the wheels of vehicles, a great
analogy for the second definition which describes the human condition;
a habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive
but is hard to change. Let’s talk about the vast number of layers, that
can complicate things.
The first definition actually draws a great picture of what it’s like to be in
a rut; your wheels are in the mud, you’re driving and sinking deeper, unable
to keep a straight path, forced to veer in the wrong direction or swerve
side to side. It can be bumpy and uncomfortable to go over. Your adrenaline
surges high and it’s mentally exhausting. If you’re not careful you could get
stuck or cause damage.
The second definition of course is in reference to the human “rut’ but can
sound a bit simplistic against what a large number of us have faced, are
facing, will face. The reason is because the word “rut“ defines only the end
state of being but while we are in a rut we are still living in all of the things
that led up to being in a rut.
It may feel like much more than a dull, unproductive habit or pattern of
behavior that is hard to change because we are focusing on the path that
got us here and this can make it difficult for us to identify what we are
going through as such.
When we fall on the cement and as a result we scrape our knee, we don’t
really care anymore about the fall or the cement. We have a scrape that
needs healing and that is all that matters moving forward.
However, it is not easy to separate the causes from the result when it comes
to a rut. They are too relevant and active in the whole state we are in. A rut
changes. It doesn’t stay the same. Even when we are stuck, it continues to
change and grow around us, particularly when there are other people
involved (which there almost always is).
They will exercise their free will and we will still have the choice to think or
feel something about that, so we need to look at the causes in that big
picture for accurate impact and to really be able to do the work to get out
of a rut (and live a RFL).
What Causes A Rut?
I describe the cause of a rut to be all of the layers of a persons life, the
people in it and the corresponding dynamics along with situation,
perception, emotion and choices acted upon which affects the ability
of someone to get past pitfalls in life whether those pitfalls are normal
or extraordinary.
Remember in school learning about how many combinations are
possible with a specific number of digits? Remember how exponential
the results grew with each additional digit? For example, with three
digits you can only make 27 combinations. With 10 digits, that number
goes off the charts. Just imagine how many different phone number
combinations there are.
This is similar to what we are looking at when considering the differences
in people’s lives, personalities, perceptions, emotions and all of the layers
that make us unique along with the past and real time situations, our
dreams, our fears, and possible choices. There are too many potential
layers to count that could affect things and therefore, potential situational
combinations to infinity.
The majority of us are capable of handling things in our lives that we consider
negative. Most times it is multiple things all at once that put enough weight
on us to stifle our ability to continue moving forward at a normal pace on our
life paths.
When this happens, the response to each additional layer is altered because
of the present state of mind which is how things can begin to spiral
exponentially. We can lose touch with ourselves in the process because we
are responding to circumstances in ways we would not normally respond and
this can create some confusion to throw into the mix.
Also, people we know detect the changes in our behavior and begin to respond
differently to us and this can be a hammer on the nail. When our emotions
begin to paralyze the daily flow we once had, our mind, working overtime to
figure things out, keeps us constantly focused on all of the things that got us
here. This constant deep focus can be mentally exhausting.
While things are factually happening in our lives, there are also emotions that
determine how circumstances feel to us because emotions are subjective. I
like to say that emotions live in another dimension from facts.
I’m not saying that emotions are wrong or unimportant, they just don’t live on
the same plane as facts and this needs understanding before we can
effectively begin to pull things apart and climb out of the rut.
Signs You Might Be In A Rut
The process into the state of being in a rut can be very gradual. You may
even think you are heading in a healthy direction for a large part of the journey
down into the mud pit until one day you recognize that you are stuck. “Stuck“
seems to be the most common description of the feeling of being in a rut.
Of course, no one has the same exact experience or intensity and a single
word description is far too simplistic in most cases. Some may describe it as
frozen, paralyzed. In any case, it revolves around the seemingly inability to
start moving steadily towards something positive in your life’s path.
The happiest word in the last sentence is “seemingly“ because while it may
not seem possible right now, you are capable of freeing yourself from the
grips of a rut. It takes work. It takes persistence. It takes time. It can hurt. If
you think about the possibilities it is robbing you of though, it is more than
worth the effort.
Something to consider; because a rut often comes on very gradually, over
time you may have also gradually become acclimated to a lower standard
of well-being.
You may have a difficult time remembering, how much better you felt
before you fell into a rut, so when you are contemplating how much
better your world (and RFL) could be if you conquer this state of being, you may
want to give a multiplier and assume it will be much better than you can
currently imagine.
You may also be interested in these posts about Avoiding Daily Stress, Taking Back Your Power, Letting Go to Make Room For Joy, Clutter Problems, Becoming Productive Again, How Damaging Negative Visualization Habits Are.